I have them all fooled. Every last one of these people think that I’ve turned the corner, that I’ve changed. That all the chemicals they’ve been pumping into me have changed me. Boy do they have another thing coming…
“Good morning, Mr. Cole.” My morning check-in with the head shrink. “How is your wellness today? Progressing, I hope?”
I hate this new-age PC bullshit…
“Every day, in every way Doc…” Oh how I loathe thee… “Better and better.”
“And the new dosage we have you on? Any ill effects?”
Besides the screaming pain inside my skull you imbecile?
“Oh nothing I can’t handle, Doc. I’ve gotta admit it feels good to not be angry all the time…” ALL THE TIME! “…I think I’m progressing well, thanks to you and your staff.”
Oh yes his staff. The two bitchy nurses: Molly and Brunhilda. Why him? Why can’t we have someone less psychotic? Why can’t we rip his clothes off and have our way…oh wait, that’s the voices taking over again. Molly, the thin little mouse that shakes like a leaf every time she comes within ten feet of my chamber and Mrs. Phillips, the big fat den mother of the whole floor. Which really means Molly’s den mother since they long since abandoned having anyone else around me. I call her Brunhilda. She makes sure to rub cats on her every day so I can smell it. She leaves cat hairs in my chamber. She’s SO gonna pay for that.
“That’s very good, Mr. Cole. The board has decided that they may allow you to interact with the general population from time to time. How does that make you feel?”
I have to suppress a grin…
“Oh but Doctor, I don’t know if I’m ready for that. Some of those people will still remember the last time, won’t they?”
Ah yes the last time. So glorious to be able to roam the courtyard, frolic in the burnt grass and the stench of jibbering mental patients who had no clue what was coming. FOX has the balls to cancel Dollhouse? Everyone must pay. They’re still trying to figure out how I made the staff I beat the population with. What can I say? Dried Play-Doh can get surprisingly hard…
“Don’t worry about that. We have taken the appropriate precautions. For example: you will be in restraints the entire time, you will have several guards accompanying you at all times and you will not be permitted to directly address anyone. To be honest Mr. Cole, I do not agree with the board’s assessment but they have rendered their decision in the matter. They have, however, given me as much discretion as necessary as to how we will be handling this. Make no mistake, Mr. Cole. This IS your last chance. No more violence against the patients or staff will be tolerated.”
“Oh Doc, don’t worry. I have no intent to harm anyone. I just want to get better so I can go on with my life…” UH HUH. Yep. Totally. No really. Trust me.
“For your sake, I hope that’s the truth. Molly will be in to check on you soon, Mr. Cole.”
“Thanks, Doc. See you in therapy…” See you in Hell…
Truth be told, I don’t really mind Molly so much. She’s decent to look at, and a decent conversation if you can get her past the fear. I’ve been a good boy for months now but she still doesn’t trust me….smart girl. Hell, I don’t trust me and I live in here. She’s gotta have some guts though cause between her, the Doc and Brunhilda those are the only faces I see on a regular basis.
The only other person I get to see I actually feel guilty about: Little Catherine. She’s the girl I saved from the guard the last time I tried to escape. Why they’d allow a suicidal little cutter around a guy like that is beyond me. The little rampage I went on after they told me her name set her back a little bit. I guess the meds are helping a little. The mention of cats doesn’t trigger a blind rage anymore, just a seething rage in the back of my skull…baby steps…
Anyway she’s the only visitor I’m allowed to see. She’s in and out of here every month or two, either from family problems or relapses because of other drugs because of the family problems. I’m the only one that can calm her down if you can believe it. It’s one of the few times I get to be out of the restraints. If I ever get out of this place, it’s going to be like a scene from Natural Born Killers at her house, you can be sure of that. Judging from the look on Molly’s face and the three large guards accompanying her, I think I’m about to have a visitor.
“G-G-Good morning, Mr. Cole. As you can see, the DP is here so don’t try anything…” Heh. Darklight Patrol. My own personal team of guys who’d like nothing better than to beat me within an inch of my life, then take the rest a millimeter at a time.
“Now Molly, we’ve been through this how many times now?” 183 by my last count… “I’m not going to hurt you or the DP” for now anyway… “So is this about my little walk? Or do I have to play wet nurse to my favorite little psycho?”
“Now Mr. Cole…how many times have we been through this? She is a troubled little girl and only you appear to be able to reach her…” Uh oh, it’s the Doc again. Gotta be serious this time. He never brings her up himself…ah Hell, I can hear the sobbing from the hallway. “Ms. Granger, please step out of the room. Gentlemen, release the restraints….slowly. You know what to do should he try anything rash.”
Oh please. Like I’m gonna do anything around her and he knows it, the smug bastard. She’s the carrot and I damn well know it. Showtime….
He brings her into the room….
And I see what’s been done to her face….
I see the marks all over her arms and legs….
But something’s missing. Something’s off. I realize I don’t see any of the usual cuts on her arms and her face.
I look in her eyes and see something I’ve never seen in them: fear. And not for me. I realize this is more than a social call: It’s a cry for help.
Suddenly all I want to do is hug her, tell her everything will be OK, and make my plans to get out of here so I can make sure none of this ever happens again. So I do. For the next three days she refuses to leave my side. To my surprise the Doc allows it. Feels good to not be in the restraints for that whole time, but it’s tempered by the fact that this girl is more afraid of her parents than she is of me. On the scale of shit you’re not expecting, that ranks up with Surprise Anal Probe and Spanish Inquisition.
And then something surpassed even that. The Doc pulled me aside unrestrained while she was sleeping. No guards. No nurses. He was either spectacularly brave or stupid…or he had another carrot for me that he knew I wouldn’t be able to resist. Fucking smug bastard…